For the Dedicated Freak

Turkey Perks!

Leave a Virtual Voicemail!

▌ GULLET TELECOM ▸ LIFT THE HANDSET ○ 1 NEW MESSAGE DIAL 0 — OPERATOR DO NOT DIAL 44 ▸ LIFT THE HANDSET Message Waiting 25¢ · No Charge Property of Gullet Telecom · Removal Prohibited Est. 1994 · Still on the Wire

Crazy Dirk's Public Telephone

The booth across from Harvey's Bakery is long gone. The line was never disconnected. Lift the handset, work the keypad, and find out who still answers — and which number you were told not to dial.

Lift the Handset › The turkeys can hear ringing.

From the Vault

Crazy Dirk's First Radio Ad (UNCENSORED)

1:52

Good boy. 1962–1968.

Now Streaming

Music For Turkey Freaks

Produced By Crazy Dirk & Friends

Spotify Apple Music Amazon Music

Perks of the Month

Clip 'Em and Come In!

Coupon: buy two entrees for a free turkey massage. Oil, hot rocks, and gravy steaming not included. Code TALONSCRATCH. — Code: TALONSCRATCH

A gray-haired woman in a blue dress presents a roast turkey on a platter.

Coupon: 50% off your second bathroom visit. Maximum discount $40, cannot be combined with other bathroom coupons. Code B1GDUMP2. — Code: B1GDUMP2