Meet our Staff!
Patricia - Lead Plucker and Social Media Manager
“Hey! I’m Patricia! In addition to handling the social media needs for Crazy Dirk’s Turkey Lounge, I’m also our lead plucker! My record is 169 turkeys plucked in one hour! Beat that!
I find a lot of inspiration for our website and social media from businesses and artists in our community and beyond! One day, I hope to create the ultimate art installation for Dirk. It’ll be complete with payphones, animatronic turkeys, and a human scaled turkey coop!
If there was one turkey fact I think everyone should know it’s: ‘Turkeys shouldn’t breathe gasoline fumes. It’s downright dangerous!’
Most people don’t realize that it can have serious health complications for turkeys (including death!). Be safe out there!!”
Templeton - Slaughterhouse Manager & Director of R&D
“My name is Templeton and I’ve been working here at Dirk’s for almost two years now! When I’m not at the lounge I enjoy biking, reading about genetic engineering, designing luxury turkey coops, and screaming endlessly into the void. While I’ve yet to crack the code on designing the perfect turkey, I think I’m getting close! If you’re a doctor, scientist, or genetics expert take a look at my case studies and let me know how you can help!”
Templeton’s Favorite Meal at Crazy Dirk’s?: “The Wet Mess, there’s nothing I love more than the surprise of seeing what wild vinegars Crazy Dirk discovered for the week!”
Garvin - Accounting & H.R.
Garvin first met Dirk in the summer of ‘97 at his first “TurkeyCon”. They quickly bonded over their love of strongly flavored gullet secretions and disdain for scaly leg mites.
With his crippling social anxiety, Garvin enjoys most of his time behind closed doors in our office, but occasionally makes an appearance for our favorite Wet Gullet Members! Wish him a gobbling good day if you happen to catch him!
Nutty Bobby - Events and Outreach Coordinator
Nutty Bobby is the newest member of our staff.
His application cover letter started with : “If I could have chosen to've been born from a cloaca, I would've.”
The Jury is still out on if we like him all that much. In addition to hosting our stand up comedy nights, he likes playing guitar, tending to the turkeys, and researching scaly leg mites.
Limited Reopening
UPDATE: At this time, Crazy Dirk’s is open only to Wet Gullet level members.
Wet Gullet Members: Book soon, March 2025 is almost full! If you’ve signed up for a membership, please be patient while we catch up on our backlogged applications.
Thank You!
*We no longer ask all patrons to provide proof of negative Bird Flu test and proof of Bird Flu vaccination upon entry.